1st dan nappy changing in 7 days...I think not. Currently you will be running "drill" in a controlled environment with a relatively willing participant.
1st dan nappy changing is when you deal with a screaming toddler, throwing a wobbler, in a public place (usually a shopping trip) that has just blown the best part of the last three feeds out of his back passage, half way up his back and down both legs. At this point you develop the ability to simultaneously pin down 4 flailing limbs (dodging the areas covered in pooh) with one hand while stripping, wiping up, refitting and redressing the little charmer with the other.
Do this, without losing your temper, raising your voice or looking the slightest bit stressed and you will have achieved a Zen like state where you can truly say…..”I know nappy Kung Fu”.
Strangely, in years to come, you will only remember one or two changes that went faultlessly. The rest will be all the ones that went horrendously badly and oddly you’ll remember them with an endearing affection.
Pooh, the rating of Pooh, efficient handling of pooh and the cleaning of pooh will be the new gold standard. You might, after some thought, experimentation and sleepless nights, consider it a possible new building material for Cherubs, on some diets it is unsinkable.
